


Love Should Never Be Like This

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-04
Updated: 2005-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-26 17:55:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12064077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin has to learn to cope with his two bestfriends going out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

_Author's Note: This is a sequel to This One Word I s'pose. It explains more what happened to cause that. Please tell me what you think and if it's easier to follow this time! :-)_

* * *

Justin shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked away from the man he truly desired. A stray tear made its way down his pale cheek, now tinted a warm shade of red. It was becoming quite cold during the October nights. Summer was over, and with that all the summer love butterflies fluttered away. It had to be done. One way or another someone had to be hurt, and Justin didn’t think it was right to hurt his two good friends. Making his way onto the road his apartment building was on a lonely golden red leaf flowed down. The beauty only lasted mere moments as Justin stepped on it morosely. He hated this part of town, every single crushed beer bottle and every wall covered in less then crap graffiti. When his dad took off with his little sister he had no choice but to move away with his mother. The drunken bastard had tricked his little angel to go with him with presents. He chuckled dryly at that thought. If you considered presents to be tattoos and alcohol for a 14-year-old, presents. 

He sat down on a bench at a bus stop about a block away from his building. Staring into the dark purple sky he let the tears fall. Up until that moment he had tried to hold them back, distracted by other thoughts. Truth of the matter is, the other thoughts he had busied himself with were other people’s problems. He was the one they all dwelled on. It didn’t make much difference to Justin; it kept him unaware of his own sentiments. Up until that moment in his 17 years of life he didn’t think he could feel so overwhelmed. Even the hatred of his father couldn’t pierce the great shield he had built with his friends. Love is such a funny thing. He laughed full out at how cliché he was being. Never had he believed in the swoon-y emotion and for good reason. Even now it wasn’t what people had told him. He thought back to an Alice Cooper song he had heard previously. 

_Somebody told me love’s a beautiful thing_  
And when I found it all the bells would just ring  
The sun would shine and all the birds would sing  
Then I met you  
I can’t eat  
I can’t sleep  
I feel sick  
I’m so weak 

Ironic, he had been giggling to the song with Daphne only a few days ago. He sighed at the thought of Daphne. She had been there for him for so long now. Friends from the start and past the end, was what they used to say. Resting his face in his hands he slumped forward. This was too pathetic. Life was way easier when boys had cooties. He giggled at that as well, now he was sounding like his sister. Daphne was pretty much his sister when he thought about it. She had held him when he cried, listened to all his angst-y rants about how horrible his parents were together, and every step of his up and down relationships, mostly Ethan. He much preferred the false romantic notions of that boy then this. 

Getting up he sighed once again and walked on to the poorly looking place he called home. Hopefully mother was home so that he wouldn’t feel to abandoned. Usually she was working at the liberty dinner with Deb. Deb was like a second mother to him, well mostly to anybody. He could go confess this all to her if he really had to but then again, Brian was really like a son to her and knowing her she wouldn’t keep her mouth shut. The one flicker of hope he had soon faded once again. Resting his head against the door as he fought to find his keys he lightly tapped his head against the glass. 

As he opened the door he found the apartment cold and empty. Home sweet home, he thought as he put down the [key ring](http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=24&k=key%20ring). He jumped onto the couch and found the clicker. Quickly he realised all the good old soap operas on late at night didn’t do him much good. He flicked onto MTV and of course Mariah Carrey’s song “Se Belong Together” was playing. He silently cursed it, mesmerised by the words and meaning of them that he never really had heard. Sighing he went to bed playing back the lyrics in his head. 

__  
The feeling that I’m feeling  
Now that I don’t hear your voice  
Or have your touch and kiss your lips  
Cause I don’t have a choice  
Oh what I wouldn’t give   
To have you lying by my side  
Right here cause baby 

_When you left I lost a part of me_  
It’s still so hard to believe  
Come back baby please cause  
We belong together  
Who else am I gonna lean on when times get rough  
Who’s gonna talk to me on the phone  
Till the sun comes up  
Who’s gonna take your place   
There ain’t nobody better  
Oh baby baby   
We belong together 

_I can’t sleep at night_  
When you are on my mind  
Bobby Womack’s on the radio  
Singing to me “If You Think You’re Lonely Now”  
Wait a minute this is too deep  
I gotta change the station   
So I turn the dial tryin’ to catch a break  
And then I hear Babyface  
“I Only Think Of You” and it’s breakin’ my heart  
I’m tryin’ to keep it together but I’m falling apart 

_I’m feeling all out of my element_  
Throwing things, crying tryin’  
To figure out where the hell I went wrong  
The pain reflected in this song   
Ain’t even half of what I’m feeling inside  
I need you, need you back in my life baby 

_When you left I lost a part of me_  
It’s still so hard to believe  
Come back baby please cause  
We belong together  
Who else am I gonna lean on when times get rough  
Who’s gonna talk to me on the phone  
Till the sun comes up  
Who’s gonna take your place   
There ain’t nobody better  
Oh baby baby   
We belong together 

Not like they were really ever together but that one kiss said all to much. It’s true that Brian’s dad would have kicked the shit out of him if he found out that Brian’s gay, but still. The fact that he’s with Daphne when he could easily be with him cut him so deep. No, the fact that there is no way in hell they could ever be together without complicating to much hurt him. Daphne was just there flaunting it in his face without meaning too. Justin still loved her to bits but sometimes his jealousy could get the best of him. He lay his head down on his pillow for a final time and remembered what his mom always said, “Come what may… because this too shall pass.”


	2. Love Should Never Be Like This

_I know you like me_  
I know you do  
That’s why whenever I come around she’s all over you   
And I know you want it  
It's easy to see  
And in the back of your mind   
I know you should be home with me 

_Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me_  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me   
Dont cha, dont cha   
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me   
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me   
Dont cha, dont cha 

_Fight the feeling_  
Leave it alone  
Cause if it ain’t love   
It just ain’t enough to leave a happy home   
Let's keep it friendly  
You have to play fair  
See, I don’t care   
But I know she aint gon' wanna share 

_I know I'm on your mind_  
I know we'll have a good time   
I'm your friend   
I'm fun   
And I'm fine   
I aint lying   
Look at me, you ain’t blind 

_See, I know she loves you_  
I understand  
I'd probably be just as crazy about you   
If you were my own man   
Maybe next lifetime  
Possibly  
Until then, Oh friend you’re secret is safe with me 

Justin sat up with raw eyes. The sun glared into his room and he glared right back. It seemed like the world really just wanted to torture him somewhat. Waking up to that song was really not what you call a day booster. He hit the off button of the small radio and laid back down, pale arms splayed out to his sides. Connecting to music used to be his pride, he had a knack for picking up beats, lyrics, melodies, whatever! Now he just wanted everything silent. Glancing over at the small red numbers he groaned. It was only seven in the morning, and knowing his dramatically angst-ridden mind he would not be able to get back to sleep. The torture was on for the day for the dreams of nothingness wouldn’t come back and sweep him away. He lay there staring at the white ceiling letting the day’s thoughts sink in.

Just then he heard his mother coughing and gagging without shame. Sighing once more he pushed himself to his feet. The floorboards were always too cool and he hissed softly but made his way out of his room and too the bathroom never the less. Once again he found his mother leaning against the bathtub praising the porcelain king. She smiled at him but it soon wavered as she threw up once more. Justin turned around just at the right second and gagged silently at the sound. His poor mother. It wasn’t fair what she had gone through in her life. If only he could take away some of her pain…

He walked down to the kitchen and saw a mess. Bills were everywhere with random splotches of rum spraying the table and floor. Silently he picked up a washcloth and with the other hand picked up bills. In a matter of minutes he was done but the sullen mood he got from it lasted. Where did shit go wrong? Justin just shook his head to rid himself of the tears that were teasing just behind his eyes. He just threw himself onto the couch and watched the dust float upwards reminding him that he had to clean the apartment again.

Mother waddled out from the bathroom and into the kitchen to make coffee. She didn’t once stop and say thank you for cleaning up the mess. Either she was too drunk to notice the mess she had made in the first place or didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that there ever was one. The last time Justin hadn’t cleaned it up and had fallen asleep on the couch he had woken up to a sobbing mother. That wasn’t either considered a day booster. He rubbed a hand over his ivory skin brushing back the thin golden strands. It was time to get a hair cut. The whole pretty boy look wasn’t doing him much good. He thought that he could do the whole hero scene, sit up and grab scissors but he refrained himself. Wouldn’t do him much good to be ashamed to look into a mirror as well. At least that would be better then the bruises he had seen on Brian’s face. Shit! Already he had come up once again, although the bruises actually were quite bad. That was the night that he had come over to Justin’s and they had shared that kiss. The lips he thought were so far away weren’t, but the lips were poison. Alice Cooper’s song “Poison” came into his mind…

__  
My pain… your thrill.  
I wanna love you but I better not touch  
I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop  
I wanna kiss you but I want it too much  
I wanna taste you but your lips are a venomous poison  
You’re poison running through my veins  
You’re poison… I don’t wanna break these chains  


He made his way back into the small room he called his own and picked out the cd. He thought, why not? It was a good song and he might as well play it and get all the tears out. He sat back down on the bed and huddled quietly into his blanket letting the music wrap around his mind in a firm but gentle touch. As the guitar poured out he let his tears fall as well. Just let everything go he thought, as the salty water looked silver on his beautifully pained face. He clutched onto his blanket bringing it up to his chest and holding onto it for dear life. Almost ripping it as he slowly tortured himself with this song. Then he let out a scream. All stress and anger and punishment he had for himself left him and he sunk back down onto the mattress whimpering. The one thing he didn’t know was that scream had wafted down into the ears of the one who had caused it…


	3. Love Should Never Be Like This

_Author's Note: I know that Brian isn't really all to religious normally, but I decided to put that in, making it easier for you guys to see his emotions. Let me know what you think! Bekah xox_

* * *

Brian stood at the front door of the apartment building mid-knock. The scream he had heard was not only heartbreaking but almost scary. For a person to carry that much emotion and it escape in such a strangled cry was, plainly, almost disturbing. What made it even worse was that it was Justin’s pain ripping its way down into his heart through his ears. Suppose he had just left his window open, the apartment was only on the second floor. Debating weather he should go away or go up and comfort the frail guy his heart ached for was something that was taking a bit too much time to figure out. The sun burned into his bent neck and he decided to just turn around. He couldn’t do this, not this early in the morning. It was nine mind you, but he could still use that excuse.

The black clad man stumbled down the stairs in horrid confusion. How could he have gotten himself mixed into this? There were so many good reasons to go with Justin but then again the others made him slap himself back into place when he started to fantasize. Wouldn’t it just be so easy to go knock on the door and tell Justin to pack his bags and they could just leave in his dad’s jeep, riding into the sunset. Brian smiled awkwardly at that thought. If only life was so simple, he thought at once shaking his head to rid himself of that idea. 

Reaching the bridge that looked over his city and the railroads beneath it he started to jog. The crisp morning breeze pushing him gently on. He wasn’t too sure where to go, but that he had to go somewhere. Everywhere he went reminded him of the two people he loved most in his life, Justin and Daphne. Both of them he liked for completely different reasons. He loved Daphne with all his heart, she was sweet, caring, adorable, and would do anything for him. She was heals over head for him as well. Justin was so different. He cared about Brian, a lot, but he’d do anything for anybody. He liked Brian for him, and not only his looks. He was head over heals for him. Through all that longing and trust towards him he could feel something a little bit stronger penetrating the shield Justin had put up. That was something else they had in common. They looked like opposites, but they where so identical in heart.

Brian hit himself for sounding so gushy. He would die to be with Justin, but how could he say that? Even to himself he could barely ever admit that. The scream was still bouncing around in him though, making these ideas scatter around even more so. He ran harder to maybe let it fall back out, leave it behind. How had he and Justin become so distant? Just a few days ago, he would have easily called Justin his tourniquet and likewise for Justin. He just had to fuck it up and kiss him. Brian sped up and almost ran into his father coming down the rich street they lived on. 

“Brian! God damnit kid. You almost sprayed coffee all over my goddamn suit!” he yelled out. Quickly he quieted himself down as a couple came down the street. Brian just kept on going. He had to get to the secret place he used to go all the time to sort things out. He didn't care about the hurtful blows that were going to come almost definitely once he got home that night, all he cared about was leaving this all and going numb. 

Making his way into the bush behind his house he found what he was looking for 6 or 7 feet away from the back fence. He pulled on the rope and a ladder came down, hopefully it was still sturdy as he climbed up it. He had found this place when he was 12 and had come to it for the past 7 years. Brian shook his head once more at the fact that he hadn’t left home yet. He would’ve been gone but he didn’t want to leave his mother alone with his shit head of a father. Heaven only knows what he would do to her. In time he would leave, but until he got the courage to go, he would stay here with the bastard. True that he could just fight back but his father would just claim that he had gotten into a fight and good old Reverend Kinney never lies. 

Brian lay back down and thought about how many times he used to escape back here as his father beat the living shit out of him. For the past year he had been going to Daphne’s and in the last month, Justin’s. That’s how they had grown that bond…

_.x.FlashBack.x._

_**July 23rd**  
“Brian! What are you doing here? It’s 1 in the morning… oh my God! What happened to your face?”_

_“It’s okay sunshine. I didn’t want to bother Daphne again tonight, so I hope you don’t mind I came here.”_

_“No, No it’s fine. I just want a full detailed explanation of what happened after I clean you up.”_

_“Fine by me.”_

Ever since then he had gone to Justin’s instead of his girlfriend’s. Funny that without meeting Daphne, this whole thing could have been avoided and Justin and him could be together, but without her, they never would’ve met. Brian was trying to decide weather or not to call him. It would seem too clingy though, he couldn’t let onto these emotions for Justin. In the past it had been fun to just flirt around, but now it seemed like when he did so, it was confessing what he felt all too much and he had to keep it concealed. The fact that he had told Justin that he liked him was enough. Hopefully he hadn’t caught on. God damnit he wished he would catch on. 

He punched the weakening floor of the small tree house and pounded his head into the area he was laying on. Why did it have to be so hard? He closed his eyes and did what he had never told anybody he did faithfully. He prayed a silent prayer up to the only person he could think of. Thankfully his mother had told him about God, but until his father’s hurtful throws he had never really cared. Right now, it seemed that was the only thing that could save him. 

_Lord I’m not to sure what to say right now. It has been so long since I’ve done this. I’ve been caught up in this guy named Justin. I’m sure you’ve already seen that. I don’t know if your as homophobic as people seem to be debating nowadays, but honestly, right now I don’t care if you are or not. I just need somebody to talk to. Gosh, I sound kind of pathetic eh? Not that talking to you is… well you know. I kind of feel guilty that I’m only talking to you now because of this, kind of asking you for things. I don’t want you to sort it out, I just need to know that it’s okay in the long run. I just… I don’t know what I want, but I’m sure you know. I don’t even know if your up there or not, but right now I’m going to go with my gut feeling and think you are. I just… really need someone right now. Please help me lord… please… please?  
_

Brian started to slowly sob as he reached the end of his testimony to anybody or everyone who could hear his mind screaming out. He just hoped someone would help him out. Almost ironically, his cellphone rang right then.


	4. Love Should Never Be Like This

_Author's Note: I'm kind of making Daphne sound like a bitch here, but I thought it would give you her perspective aproriately. It might be a little bit over-exagerated but I've known people who have thought this way. Hopefull you all have too. :-) It's a little bit short but I didnt know where to continue on. Sorry. Let me know what you all think though!_

* * *

Daphne waited impatiently for Brian to pick up. After Justin had queened out when Brian was talking to her on the phone during a movie he had taken off without even saying goodbye. She was steaming mad. Big deal that he was having another breakdown. It gave Brian no right to treat her like a piece of dirt. She was almost steaming as it hit the third ring, its vibration getting stuck in her haze of hate towards the two of them at the moment. Finally hearing the click she opened her mouth to start bitching but what she heard made her choke it back. In fact it was Brian’s choking sob that made her do so. Was he crying? 

“Hey Baby… are you okay?”  
“Yeah… why wouldn’t I be?”  
“Oh. It just sounded like you were crying.”  
“Oh… no, no, I’m just coming down with a cold I suppose. What’s up?”  
“Nothing really. Was actually just calling to see what the hell happened the other night,” her icy tone leaked into that sentence and she didn’t much care. He had the right to hear her anger. After all he was hers, and well deserved he was.  
“Uhmm… nothing doll. Justin just got a little bit pissy as usual and I just wanted to see what was the matter.”  
“You shouldn’t have just left me hanging though and then afterwards I don’t hear from you at all!”  
“I know, I know. I’m sorry but… just, I don’t know. Can we just let that go?”  
“Are you silencing me Brian! You have no right!”  
“K… daph, what the hell?”  
Oh hell, he was **not** getting pissed off at her because of this was he! How dare he.   
“Okay… Brian, ever since you’ve been hanging out with Justin you’ve been treating me like shit. What the hell? He’s my best friend. Not yours and I…”  
“Daphne… I am now going to hang up. You are talking as if you own both of us, and that is not the Daphne Chanders I know. You need to take a break, and think this out. Maybe it’s your little pms-y time but you shouldn’t be talking to me like this. Yeah, he’s your best friend! Go find out what’s wrong with him! Don’t just come crawling back to me!”

With that Brian hung up and Daphne was fuming. Since when had he talked to her like that? She chucked the phone onto her bed and picked up her coat. She was going to have a little chat with her so called best friend and see what had flown up his ass. He was not going to get her boyfriend this time.


	5. Love Should Never Be Like This

_Authors Note_ Hey Guys. I’m sorry it’s been so long. I guess I’ve been getting caught up in my new story and other fanfics. I also recently met somebody else, so the pain that I was dealing with has flown right out the window thus making it hard for me to remember what it felt like to be in this situation. I’ll try my best to make the next chapters as realistic as I had made the other ones. Thank you to **Bullet0fEve for reminding me that I hadn't written this story in a while. :)**

* * *

Justin was shaking like a leaf. The morose feelings of hate and anger that had consumed him only a couple minutes ago had left him in streams of tears and blood. It was as if the weight that he had burdened on his shoulders for so long had come flowing out with the hot liquid. No matter its heat, it still cooled his body. He was quite literally burning up. It wasn’t only how he couldn’t be with the one he loved, it was his mother, he had found her in bed once again with gashes up and down her legs. She was back to cutting. 

Even if it didn’t make any real good sense he felt like if his mother was in pain, he should be too. He found his old blade and went at it. Another feeling of regret shook him. He really needed somebody to talk to. As poison restarted he heard the buzzer of the front door. Glancing quickly to see if he was bleeding through his sweatshirt he made his way to the box. 

He managed a weak, “Hello?”   
“Justin! Hi… It’s Daphne! Let me in?”  
“Daph… I’m kind of having some family problems right now. Can we hang out a different time?”   
Daphne, down below gritted her teeth. Her hair had become fuzzed out and her makeup smeared from biting her lips and rubbing her eyes in stress.  
“Justin… I really want to see you though!” She said in the best baby voice she had.  
“Fine…” The buzzer sounded and she marched up the stairs. Taking a quick break to brush back her hair and take a final breath she knocked on his door. What she saw completely shocked her. Her once radiant blonde friend had bags around his eyes and was slouching almost in-humanly. He smelt horrid too, something that wasn’t very Justin-like. Any suspicions or anger she had melted.

“Jussy! Oh my god! Are you okay?”   
He managed a weak smile and nodded. Ushering her into the living room he took her coat and placed in on a chair. He practically fell onto his couch and with a wince grabbed his arm. Thankfully Daphne didn’t notice.   
“So… what did you have to talk to me so urgently about?”   
Justin’s innocence sparked something in her. There was something truly wrong with him or he was just faking this.   
“Justin… what’s with you and Brian?” she decided to just chuck it out in the open. No toying around the edge right, she wanted to know. Justin shook his head and looked at her with disbelief.  
“Nothings “with” me and Brian. Why would you say such a thing?”  
“Yesterday, you took off when he kissed me goodnight. It’s like your jealous or something.”  
“Daphne… Just because I took off, after I said goodbye, coincidentally at the same time he decided to kiss you doesn’t mean anything!” Justin hoped his excuse worked on his best friend. He really didn’t want to deal with this right now.   
“Oh you are so full of shit. I won’t let you have him!”  
Justin jumped up at that, “Don’t talk about him like he’s a fucking toy. He’s not. That’s why you lost Daniel! That’s why he came to me! Why can’t you see that! You’re an over-controlling little bitch!”  
Daphne had steam flying out of her ears. She grabbed Justin’s arm that was now pointing accusingly at her and started on her side of the story, “How dare you talk to me like that! I’m your best fucking friend. You don’t talk to anybody like that, especially me….”   
She stopped as she saw the wince on Justin’s face and the red on the gray sweatshirt that she had in a vice grip.   
“Justin… no. You didn’t!” Tears were streaming down both of the two friends faces. The friendship they once had seemed to fly back in a second, but only last a mere portion of that. Daphne shook her head and turned around, wipping her hand on her jeans.   
“I don’t know you Justin. You’re just trying to chuck me into a guilt trip aren’t you? I don’t get you anymore. Daniel didn’t come to you; you whored yourself now didn’t you. Why can’t you just admit that?” With that she slammed the door and marched out.

The vibration from the door almost sent Justin down to the floor but he heard his mother call out.  
“Jesus Christ Justin! Keep it down will you! Fuck…”  
That sent him out the door as well. He couldn’t deal with this. He ran out the back door and just kept running. He had no idea where he was going, but he had to get there quickly. The pain in his arm was driving him onward. He wouldn’t stop, he couldn’t. That is until he heard the squealing and somebody shout out, “Watch out!” and he quite literally froze as he saw the car aproach…


	6. Love Should Never Be Like This

_Author's Note:_ This isn't the last chapter m'dears. It would be a good ending but it isn't practical. I don't want it to seem like a happily ever after. I may start a new story, a sequel though. Please let me know how you guys like it. I infused it with alot of what I've gone through so it's not something for the light of heart. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. It's been quite a clensing thing for me.

* * *

Brian leaped up into the air as he heard the squeal of cars. Across the street he saw Justin running into the middle of the now stopped car and a body of a girl laying on the road now completely limp. That girl was… Daphne. 

“Oh fuck! Justin! Daphne? What the fuck! Daphne!” Brian ran straight to the two friends and had to decide quickly on who to hold first. Justin had tears streaming down his once beautiful face and Daphne was out like a light. It looked like she had been crying as well, and there was blood smeared on her face in the mark of a… handprint? There was crimson staining the pavement below her curly mop of hair. 

“B-Brian… what are you doing here?” Justin was now kneeling beside Daphne petting her hair and gripping onto her hand as a man beside him called an ambulance. His voice was a weak murmur and could barely be heard by the commotion. He heard it though. The agony filling the questioning plea was as strong as that scream. Brian shook his head and fell to his knees as well and red caught his eye. It wasn’t from his once close girlfriend but from his once lover. Strawberry gashes outlined his wrist. 

Without thinking he asked, “Why did you do this baby?” Justin didn’t answer; he just thought Brian was asking Daphne. Glancing up he soon realized he was wrong. The hazel pools he thought he had said goodbye to for good were flowing directly into his, cooling the fire that was scorching his soul.

Brian hit himself mentally. At the moment he was caught between a rock and a real fucking hard place. It was as if the rock was digging a new wound into a scar and the hard place was overpowering and tall. He just wanted to reach out and grab the golden boy he loved so dearly but he wanted to scoop Daphne up and heal her with some kind of power and go off to paradise. It was just to confusing. 

The sound of the ambulance broke them from their trance and they were pushed back by medics. With them a cop car came and Daphne’s mother ran up. “Brian! Brian! What happened? Daphne? Daphne!!” She was hysterical. It seemed like she was on her way over to Justin’s to pick her up and she ran into this scene.   
The medics got Daphne onto a stretcher and the streets cleared up. It got cooler in the late afternoon sun and still the two boys didn’t know what to do. The most reasonable thing would be to hurry off to the hospital to make sure Daph was okay, but Brian didn’t have the courage to walk away and he damn well didn’t have the courage to risk losing an opportunity like this. The boy… man… he loved was right infront of him right now. It was up to Justin to accept him, but up to him as well to accept that love and his own for Justin. 

Justin was fighting his own battles inside. He had already said his good-byes; he had confessed all emotion without one word and walked away. He shouldn’t be here right now. It was a bomb waiting to go off. He had to say goodbye again and that would be it. No more, no goddamn more. Oh hell… whom was he kidding? It had drained him so goddamn much to say goodbye in the first place and to even find the strength to say it again… that would just be impossible. 

He did all he could do. Starring deep inside the warm swamp of green and gold he had to find his salvation. He would have to be accepted or pushed away by him, he couldn’t do it himself. One step forward two steps backward it seemed. Brian starred right back into the fiery silver glow of the blue eyes. The words were on the tip of his tongue but they were super glued. Simple words would have to cut it. A quick second decision would also have to do it. Daphne could never love him as much as this being infront of him. What was a human body compared to the human soul? What makes two people fall in love, the body or the heart and hell… everybody has a heart. Or at least many of them. His snotty ass homophobe of a father could go fuck himself. He was in love with this man right here. That’s all the world had to know. With maturity comes more capability, with that capability comes the ability to think more. Sometimes the world thinks to goddamn much he decided.

Without a final thought Brian lunged forward and caught the one he desired in a tight grip. He pressed his hands against the warm neck and the sweating back of the one he wanted… no, needed. The world could go fuck itself twice over. Right here he was truly happy.

Justin had to think real hard to figure out what the fuck was happening. Just a few seconds ago he was debating weather or not to just walk away from… everything. Now he was in the arms of the one person who could save him from this hell. Figuring he shouldn’t over think anything right now he sealed the embrace as he placed his head in the crook of his neck. 

After they had broken apart they silently started walking down towards the hill at the edge of town. It was their place, and no one could take it away. Sitting down beside each other Justin placed his head on Brian’s shoulder and glanced onto the sunset. His hair was a mess and the dry tears were caked onto his face but his beauty radiated right through. The intense fire inside roared on and could be seen through his eyes. Brian could see it and hell, he never felt so much better. He only had one doubt and that was plastered all over his face.

Looking up Justin finally broke the pending silence.

“Bri… what’s wrong?” he asked hesitantly.  
“Oh, nothing. I can just hear my father right now.”  
“And… what is he saying?  
“You’re going to hell sonny boy!” Brian sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. Justin clutched onto it and brought it down.   
Still holding on he answered, “Funny. Just a few hours ago I was thinking that this place was hell.”  
With serious curiosity Brian asked, “What made you change your mind?”  
Lost in a daze it didn’t occur to him what Brian meant, “What?”  
“You used past tense…”  
“Oh. Yeah. Well in the past events I realized that any fires couldn’t touch what I had felt.”

And with one final smile from his partner he glanced up into the orange sun and thought to himself what truly had made him change his mind. The fire that had been burning him had simmered down with that hug but glancing back into the swamp it was ignited again. Though the fire he felt now was twice as intense, it was a good burn; a burn fueled by love and hell itself couldn’t even try to touch that.


End file.
